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Tomorrow is Friday! Finally! And the Friday before a 3 day weekend, to boot.

I think I will stop by the local Hallmark Store and pick up a card for no reason in particular. They have a section of cards that are only $.99. If I was a smart man, I would grab 5 bucks’ worth and hide the remaining 4 safely away in a drawer. Seriously, giving a card for no special reason practically guarantees a little world rockin’. I am going to write a little note in there, reminding her that she is more beautiful today than the day we married. I would marry her all over again, and I think I’ll tell her that, too. I am going to restate that I am the man I am because of the woman she is. I’ll just put it her underwear drawer before I leave for work.

And since I am thinking ahead to the weekend, I am thinking about planning something simple for us to do together, just the two of us. No kids for a few hours. We have a really cool Lifestyle Center (A huge outdoor shopping mall) nearby that usually has musicians playing in the courtyard and of course there is a coffee shop nearby. Hmmmm . . . a couple hours of strolling hand in hand, window shopping and chatting. Top it off with a coffee and scone, and we have had a nice get-together for under 8 bucks.

It seems we often have a little friction about how we spend our off-work time. I desire nothing more than to pour a tall glass of iced tea, flip up the footrest on the Barcolounger, and watch a little SciFi Channel. I have been away from home for a good portion of the week and just want to chill in the castle.

The Postmistress, on the other hand is a SAHM who also home schools 2 1/2 of our kids. (The 1/2 represents our 17 year old who takes mostly college courses at this point.) She has been in the house all week and longs to get out and see the world. For the sake of her mental well being I must get her away from home for at least a few hours.

This is why I am thinking ahead about the upcoming weekend. If I don’t plan something now, I will revert to my natural couch potato state without meeting her need to escape the home for a while with me. She knows what a procrastinator I am, and it really means a lot to her when I remember to plan something. Anything is good, and she doesn’t care if it costs anything at all. Even a walk through the neighborhood with the Labradors is a good get-out.

Hey man- what can you do for your wife this weekend to show her you love and honor her? A massage? Clean one room of the house to her standards? Dinner out? A love note? Arrange with a friend to keep the kids so that you two can be alone? Wash and vacuum her car? TIVO the Game and watch later so that you can focus on doing what she wants to do?

There are lots of things we can do to act considerately towards our wives, and most of them don’t involve much if any money. Impress her by planning ahead. Love her by putting her needs before yours.

Cheers! to a great weekend together!

Blessings

Technorati Tags: husband, marriage

How do you feel about commuting to and from work?

1. Total waste of time and fuel.
2. Drives me insane.
3. Rather have a boil lanced.
4. I tune out by listening to the radio.
5. I arrive home stressed out.
6. It takes me a while to decompress after driving so long.
7. I don’t mind.
8. Work at home- no issue here.

For all but those who work at home, it seems spending time on the road is our sorry lot in life. I have also noted that it is not unusual for the entire family ( dogs and goldfish included) to give wide berth until I have obviously “drive decompressed”. I am guilty of bringing home my stress from work and especially the road. I just don’t tolerate rude people very well and I tend to let it show in front of the family.

I am not bragging here: I am confessing. I sometimes struggle to walk in the door with a smile. There are days when I just need to vent a little to my wife (not at her, but as a sounding board). Occaisionally I insist on having my “me time” before “dad time”. I might even march straight to my room without hugging and kissing anyone.

We cannot afford to let anything sour our time with our families. The time together is just too precious and fleeting. Shame on me for ever allowing the pressures of the world to taint my family’s joy of being with Dad.

Men, the mood you exude when you walk through the front door determines the mood of the family for the rest of the evening. Even if this is old news to you, it bears repeating.  We have the power to change a rotten day into a memorable evening by choosing to do so. It cannot be dictated or declared, though. “Alright everyone: straighten up, talk nice to your mom, eat your peas, finish that homework, and let’s play some Twister!”.  Sure, that works . . . on another planet.

I have yet to dictate my way into a pleasant evening at home: How foolish to think that I can just declare our conflicts away. Sure everyone might do it my way just to avoid the Wrath of Dad, but does the Wrath of Dad really change the hearts of children (and the wife)? Obviously not.

I, though, can make a purposeful change that will trickle down to the rest of my loved ones at home and it starts at the commute. (And you were wondering when I might get back on point). Specifically, my right attitude begins when I leave for work in the morning. Instead of turning on the radio (even christian radio) I encourage you to turn that distraction off and tune in to your family. Pray for your wife in specific ways, not just that generic “Lord please bless my wife…” No, be sure ask her  ahead of time how you can be praying for her, and write it down on a sticky note which is in turn stuck to your dashboard. (Change the note at least weekly to avoid the common male problem of ignorance of the familiar).  Likewise, pray for each of your children during this time alone in the car. If they are old enough, ask them also for suggestions on how you might pray for them. If they can talk, they are old enough to ask for prayer suggestions. You will learn the most about them as a person and what is meaningful to them during this time.

Probably this time of praying for your family won’t last any longer than 5 or 10 minutes, then you can get on with listening to traffic or weather or whatever else interests you. 

You will also want to make the most of the homeward leg of your daily commute. (And I am assuming you have a cell phone).This is the time to call your wife and ask her how her day was. You should follow up on those prayer requests she gave you by letting her know which ones you are talking to the Lord about today. This would also be the time to ask if you can run any errands for her before you get home. Now would also be a great time to give her a compliment and to tell her how much you are looking forward to seeing her.

If the kids are at home, talk to each of them briefly. As with your wife, inquire sincerely about their day and let them know how you have prayed for them. Tell them that you love them and can’t wait to see them. If anyone has gotten into some kind of trouble that might require your discipline- don’t deal with it just yet- there will be time for that after you get home. 

A big, goofy smile is what your wife and kids need to see first thing you walk in the door. Next thing is to hug your wife and plant a sloppy kiss (brief semi-modest groping allowed). There is nothing wrong with kids seeing that dad really likes to hug mom. It instills confidence about your family’s stability to see appropriate intimacy between parents. And , of course, hug and kiss each child and say their names.

By investing your commute time wisely, several things have been accomplished:

1. You have gotten in a proper frame of mind to bless your family.
2. The focus of your life has moved away from the normal stresses of your day to getting prepared for enjoying your family.
3. Your loved ones have been reminded that they are indeed loved ones and not just accessories.
4. You are unleashing the mystery of the “Power of Dad”- Your God given ability to inject joy and security to your family.
5. You are giving your wife permission to dump most of her family-stress on your broad shoulders. This is right for you to do.

Choose to use your commute time wisely. Focus on those people that matter most. Forget the turds that drive too slow or cut you off. You might find that you tolerate your time behind the wheel a lot better. 

     “Wendy, I’m home.”        You won’t see Jack’s greeting replayed at a real man’s home.

And I will tell you something else: It is a good bet that your woman is turned on by a manly man who thinks of his family in the way I have described.

Technorati Tags: Family, fatherhood, husband, marriage, Stress

My wife is convinced that she needs a little time to get her beauty on in the morning. One of the (many) reasons I chose her 22 years ago, and would choose her again today, is that she looks hot with or without any special fixin’ up.  She, on the other hand, feels like she looks a little Medusa-like in the morning.

I have always thought that she looks great even before she gets her ‘do working, but I guess I never made it clear until recently. One Saturday morning as she was standing at the stove in her terry cloth bath robe I told her how beautiful she was. She was honestly surprised to hear that and said “looking like this?  With my hair all big like this?”  I told her that I absolutely loved her bed-head look because it reminds me of the fun we have messing it up.

I know that many of our ladies feel self conscious about how they look. Isn’t it a part of our lovin’ job description to consistently remind them that we are in love with her, whether or not she is beautiful in her eyes. She needs to know she is a beautiful sight in her husband’s eyes. In fact, to tell her that she is looking her best before the makeup, hairspray and fancy clothes go on is to begin to scratch the surface of what she really needs to hear and know from you: That her husband is irretrievably in love with her as a person.

See, our wives are very aware of the effects of time, babies and gravity on their appearance. She is also very aware that her man is a visual creature. Add to the mix a little insecurity generated by the media’s images of “perfect women” and you can bet that she thinks her man loves her less when she doesn’t look her best. This is why my wife was so surprised when I told her how hot I got looking at her bed head beauty. It was another way for me to remind her that I am still intrigued by her and that I am invested in her long-term.

Undoubtably our women like to hear compliments about how good they look, and we all need to keep those appearance compliments flowing. But the kind of compliments that will pay real dividends (like when you forget her birthday) are those character  compliments that you dole out on a regular basis. Remind her, daily, of what a great woman she is and tell her how you need what only she has.

If this is new to you- here is a place to look for some examples: in the Bible, in Proverbs chapter 31. You might also look at Galations 5:22 where Love, loy, peace, patience, kindness,gentleness, and self-control are mentioned. Certainly most of these words apply to her. I know they apply to my wife. After all, she puts up with me.

Tell her you love her. Tell her what you love about her. Tell her your love is deeper than skin. Tell her all the time.

Technorati Tags: communication, compliment, husband, marriage, wife

It is said that Ernest Hemingway once won a ten dollar bet by writing a six word story. This is the kind of challenge I cannot resist, much like a black and white jigsaw puzzle. Maybe you will want to try your hand at this before taking a look at my submission.  After all, Shakespeare once said “Brevity is the soul of wit”. How much meaning can you pack into few words? Anyway, here is Hemingway’s (arguably) best story:

“For sale: baby shoes, never used.”

After wrestling with this for awhile I came up, well, long. Long on words and short of creativity, that is. Not to be deterred, I set about trekking through the ‘net to see what other mere mortals might have to offer as their six word story. Many have tried their hand at it but few succeeded, in my opinion. I am certainly in the many category.

Well, maybe I did come up with something . . . but if you have something better, please forward it to me. Whatcha think?:

“an unloved woman who is married”

OK, for all you Bible scholars out there- I stole it. The whole passage goes like this:

Proverbs 30:21-24 (New International Version) 

Technorati Tags: communication, husband, marriage