How do you feel about commuting to and from work?
- Total waste of time and fuel.
- Drives me insane.
- Rather have a boil lanced.
- I tune out by listening to the radio.
- I arrive home stressed out.
- It takes me a while to decompress after driving so long.
- I don’t mind.
- Work at home- no issue here.
For all but those who work at home, it seems spending time on the road is our sorry lot in life. I have also noted that it is not unusual for the entire family ( dogs and goldfish included) to give wide berth until I have obviously “drive decompressed”. I am guilty of bringing home my stress from work and especially the road. I just don’t tolerate rude people very well and I tend to let it show in front of the family.
I am not bragging here: I am confessing. I sometimes struggle to walk in the door with a smile. There are days when I just need to vent a little to my wife (not at her, but as a sounding board). Occaisionally I insist on having my “me time” before “dad time”. I might even march straight to my room without hugging and kissing anyone.
We cannot afford to let anything sour our time with our families. The time together is just too precious and fleeting. Shame on me for ever allowing the pressures of the world to taint my family’s joy of being with Dad.
Men, the mood you exude when you walk through the front door determines the mood of the family for the rest of the evening. Even if this is old news to you, it bears repeating. We have the power to change a rotten day into a memorable evening by choosing to do so. It cannot be dictated or declared, though. “Alright everyone: straighten up, talk nice to your mom, eat your peas, finish that homework, and let’s play some Twister!”. Sure, that works . . . on another planet.
I have yet to dictate my way into a pleasant evening at home: How foolish to think that I can just declare our conflicts away. Sure everyone might do it my way just to avoid the Wrath of Dad, but does the Wrath of Dad really change the hearts of children (and the wife)? Obviously not.
I, though, can make a purposeful change that will trickle down to the rest of my loved ones at home and it starts at the commute. (And you were wondering when I might get back on point). Specifically, my right attitude begins when I leave for work in the morning. Instead of turning on the radio (even christian radio) I encourage you to turn that distraction off and tune in to your family. Pray for your wife in specific ways, not just that generic “Lord please bless my wife…” No, be sure ask her ahead of time how you can be praying for her, and write it down on a sticky note which is in turn stuck to your dashboard. (Change the note at least weekly to avoid the common male problem of ignorance of the familiar). Likewise, pray for each of your children during this time alone in the car. If they are old enough, ask them also for suggestions on how you might pray for them. If they can talk, they are old enough to ask for prayer suggestions. You will learn the most about them as a person and what is meaningful to them during this time.
Probably this time of praying for your family won’t last any longer than 5 or 10 minutes, then you can get on with listening to traffic or weather or whatever else interests you.
You will also want to make the most of the homeward leg of your daily commute. (And I am assuming you have a cell phone).This is the time to call your wife and ask her how her day was. You should follow up on those prayer requests she gave you by letting her know which ones you are talking to the Lord about today. This would also be the time to ask if you can run any errands for her before you get home. Now would also be a great time to give her a compliment and to tell her how much you are looking forward to seeing her.
If the kids are at home, talk to each of them briefly. As with your wife, inquire sincerely about their day and let them know how you have prayed for them. Tell them that you love them and can’t wait to see them. If anyone has gotten into some kind of trouble that might require your discipline- don’t deal with it just yet- there will be time for that after you get home.
A big, goofy smile is what your wife and kids need to see first thing you walk in the door. Next thing is to hug your wife and plant a sloppy kiss (brief semi-modest groping allowed). There is nothing wrong with kids seeing that dad really likes to hug mom. It instills confidence about your family’s stability to see appropriate intimacy between parents. And , of course, hug and kiss each child and say their names.
By investing your commute time wisely, several things have been accomplished:
- You have gotten in a proper frame of mind to bless your family.
- The focus of your life has moved away from the normal stresses of your day to getting prepared for enjoying your family.
- Your loved ones have been reminded that they are indeed loved ones and not just accessories.
- You are unleashing the mystery of the “Power of Dad”- Your God given ability to inject joy and security to your family.
- You are giving your wife permission to dump most of her family-stress on your broad shoulders. This is right for you to do.
Choose to use your commute time wisely. Focus on those people that matter most. Forget the turds that drive too slow or cut you off. You might find that you tolerate your time behind the wheel a lot better.
“Wendy, I’m home.” You won’t see Jack’s greeting replayed at a real man’s home.
And I will tell you something else: It is a good bet that your woman is turned on by a manly man who thinks of his family in the way I have described.
Stumble It!